you're my sweetheart
jessica. professional fangirl
i’m into girls and guys but i’m also really into pasta.
my blog is porny and spoilery

the carlos to my cecil

in a cupboard,
under some stairs

Such a Good Feeling (To Know You’re Alive)  


Warnings: BDSM, sex work, humiliation, exhibitionism, masturbation
Summary: “I guess I just wanted to be the center of attention for a while. Have someone tell me how great I am while I take a little break from life.” Kurt goes to a professional Dom for a nice gentle scene of simple orders and praise.
Rating: Mature
Wordcount: ~7500
Betas: neyronrose and wowbright - Thank you so much! :D

Kurt hesitated on the doorstep. He checked the address on his phone again, looked down the street and then back at the number on the door. It was a townhouse in the middle of a row of them on a quiet cul-de-sac with no visitor parking, and he’d had to walk a couple blocks from the meter where he’d parked. Finally he rang the doorbell with three minutes to spare before his appointment.

A moment later the door was opened by a smiling, handsome man in a bright red polo and rolled-up jeans that revealed his ankles. “Hi!”

“Hi…” Kurt glanced behind him, then back toward the man. “I’m not sure if I’m in the right place…”

“Are you looking for a weird kinky dungeon thing in some guy’s basement?”

Kurt laughed out loud.

“Because if so, you found it!” He stood aside and held the door open as Kurt stepped through. “You must be Kurt.”

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It Feels Like the First Time 


Blaine breaks his arm and has to undergo surgery. When he comes round from the anesthesia with Kurt at his side, he briefly forgets he’s married. Based on this hilarious video and gifset. Written for Heather who needed some fluff this week. 2.8K [AO3]

“Papa, papa!” Elizabeth shrieked, running into the house, her curly brown hair a blur behind her.

Kurt looked up from the outfit he’d been sketching. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he took in the look of wide-eyed terror on his daughter’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, already on his feet and poised to spring into action.

“Daddy’s hurt. He told me to get you,” she answered, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Show me,” Kurt directed, grabbing his cell phone off the desk and sliding it into his pocket as he followed Elizabeth out the door and into the backyard.

Blaine was sitting awkwardly on the ground next to the tire swing, his right arm drawn up to his chest, cradled gingerly by his left hand. “Honey?” Kurt called out as he knelt beside him, stomach twisting as he got a brief glimpse at Blaine’s arm, which was jutting out at an unnatural angle.

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Fic: I Kinda Need A Hero (Is It You?) 


There are very few things Connor is scared of. Jail, of course - he’s already the black sheep of his family without becoming an arrested law student. And commitment - being tied down to a single person. Falling in love. Now he finds himself facing both fears at the same time | htgawm fic, connor/oliver, headcanon continuation from 1x04, title from nightingale by demi lovato



Staggers into the apartment. Shakes. Sips water. Stammers out vague words. Shudders. Stalls in his breathing, coughing and clutching at the cushions. Stumbles over an explanation, an apology, a desperate, jerky I had to see you. Stares into space until a blanket is laid over him and unsaid words hang heavily on the air between them. Sleeps fitfully, dreaming about blood and crazed laughter and flashing blue lights and locked cells and strains of the wedding march echoing as a jury declares him guilty.

The clink of a spoon against china, the hum of the coffee maker, the crackling of bacon frying - it’s a comforting melody that greets him as he wakes, and for a moment this could almost be a normal day. But he remembers, and he starts to shake again, teeth chattering, until the soothing voice softly says, “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”

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Alrighty, so there’s this college AU list I just reblogged annnnd I think I’m gonna try to write Klaine drabbles for most of them. So here’s one with Klaine and hermit crabs that I might continue at some point. Not edited, pet the pretty typos. Enjoy the cuteness.


            ”Blaine, Blaine! Help, you’ve gotta hide Mr. Onion.”

            A hand hits his pillow and then his head. Blaine grumbles and yanks his blankets up over his face. It’s Friday morning. His first Friday of his first semester away at college, and he’s already regretting rooming with his best friend and his pet hermit crab.

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So originally, I was going to do a different story for each prompt, just little drabbles, and then I thought, “Hey, why not make things more difficult but trying to get as many as possible into one story and see what happens?”

I have accepted the challenge I presented myself with. It’s a thing I’m doing. I’ll regret it later.

So from hermit crabs to itchy rash dryer sheets. Here we go, wheeeeeee!


            Kurt spends several nights thinking about the charming boy in the room next door. Blaine has an old world charm to him, like a boy who fell out of a black an white fifties sitcom with his side parted, gelled locks and his bow ties and smile. He’s handsome. Even Finn said so after they helped him retrieve Mr. Onion from the ceiling. Finn took an immediate liking to him, and Kurt thinks that’s odd. Almost as odd as Finn suggesting they let Star and Mr. Onion go on a date. He suspects Rachel’s behind that. It is her hermit crab after all, pawned off on them because how could she ever risk getting in trouble with her career on the line?

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take my whole life, too—a 6.6k-word reaction to all those spoilers (the ones up through 6.04 + a bit of 6.05) - takes place approximately around 6.06/6.07 given there aren’t any significant time jumps.

a warning, I suppose, for a Kurt/Dave scene.

He hears Rachel long before he sees her.


Kurt sighs, continues to organize the sheet music they’ll be handing out in rehearsal today. He knows what’s coming; he’s not looking forward to it, but it was inevitable, really, that she’d find out. Rachel marches into the choir room and Kurt doesn’t bother acknowledging her seeing as she’s going to speak either way.

"Kurt, I just heard a very interesting tidbit about your personal life."

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prompt: skank!kurt and nerd!blaine get trapped in the elevator of an old ‘haunted’ factory, and kurt is happy to distract blaine until they’re rescued.
NC-17 for uninhibited elevator frottage.

The entire building creaks again - a sound that makes Blaine worry about the structural integrity of the factory more than it makes him worry about the supposed ‘ghosts’ - and Blaine rolls up his sleeves in determination, stepping forward to try the doors again.

"Hey, relax, you’re going to hurt yourself," Kurt says, looking up from his phone. "Santana’s on her way to bail us out. Everything is going to be fine, Anderson."

"Easy for you to say," Blaine huffs, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose in a nervous gesture, face flushing when he mumbles, "you’re not the one who’s going to die unkissed."

Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up, and Blaine tries very hard not to notice the glint of Kurt’s tongue stud when he talks. “I guess this would be a fun game of Seven Minutes in Heaven if we weren’t, you know, trapped in a dilapidated building.”

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It’s a world where you connect with your soulmate when you first look them in the eye. It’s in this world that blind!Kurt has accepted that he’ll never meet his. 

When Kurt had agreed to spy on the Warblers, he hadn’t realized there’d be so many people. He pushed his sunglasses up his nose and squeezed his cane tightly as he stood still in the middle of the staircase with absolutely no idea what to do. He was accustomed to McKinley and it’s too-narrow hallways and students who didn’t really give a damn but knew to walk around him but this was all a little to unfamiliar and he was lost. 

Slightly desperate, Kurt reached out his hand. It closed around someone’s arm. 

"Uh, excuse me, hi. Can I ask you a question? I’m new here." 

For about a second, there was a silence. Then: “My name is Blaine.” 

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Alrighty, so there’s this college AU list I just reblogged annnnd I think I’m gonna try to write Klaine drabbles for most of them. So here’s one with Klaine and hermit crabs that I might continue at some point. Not edited, pet the pretty typos. Enjoy the cuteness.


            ”Blaine, Blaine! Help, you’ve gotta hide Mr. Onion.”

            A hand hits his pillow and then his head. Blaine grumbles and yanks his blankets up over his face. It’s Friday morning. His first Friday of his first semester away at college, and he’s already regretting rooming with his best friend and his pet hermit crab.

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Anonymous asked:
Klaine, my roommate's boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor


Ooooh *u*

Klaine Bingo: Sharing a bed

"Are you sexiling me?"

Kurt looks at Elliot in shock and betrayal.

"Come on, Kurt," Elliot says gently, still holding a backpack and a Tupperware of cookies. "Adam just came back from Sussex, we haven’t seen each other in eons—"

"Two months."

"—Eons, Kurt, and we need to get nasty, naked and noisy.”


"Yeah, they’re involved too."

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mypatronusisklaine asked:
joey richter/joe walker (not romantic), down in the quarter at a bachelor party (idk i just really wanted to send you a prompt but i don't watch teen wolf, so this is what you get)



"So, what you’re telling me is that there was alcohol involved?" 

"Yes," Joey says a little too enthusiastically before furrowing his brows at the expression he’s met with, "No? Maybe? What am I supposed to say here, officer?” 

"You’re supposed to explain to me just how that kid," he points to Joe who is wrapped in a blanket and lying unconscious against the most uncomfortable looking chair in existence, "ended up naked on the back of the General Andrew Jackson statue in The Square yelling profanities about a fictional show choir." 


Anonymous prompted: Married, long time going without sex, Kurt comes home one night to find a very scruffy disheveled Blaine, drinking alone, they undress each other sensually, and they have rough, wild sex. 

I was also inspired by missbeizy and judearaya's great porn off of 2014, so I thought I’d tag along and try to play in the big leagues*

They haven’t had a quiet dinner at home in weeks, either missing each other entirely or one of them rushing in the door with takeout that they eat in front of the television before the other rushes out again, and there is something so quietly satisfying about washing dishes while Blaine dries, on an evening where they have no where to go and nothing to do, the apartment lit softly yellow with fairy lights, just the sound of the running water and the tick tick tick of the clock on the wall.

Kurt passes over a plate dripping wet from the sink, smiles as he watches Blaine rub it dry. There isn’t anything particularly erotic about it, other than it’s Blaine and sometimes Blaine doing nothing but breathing and standing in place and existing is enough to make Kurt flush with fond arousal. But this is not fond arousal, him with his arms elbow deep in murky dishwater, bits of lettuce floating on the top, body frozen and eyes glued to Blaine’s hand rubbing and rubbing and rubbing at that plate.

Kurt wants to grab it and smash it on the floor and climb onto Blaine’s lap to ride him into oblivion.

Where the hell did that come from?

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Fic: “Inappropriate”  


Word Count: 1100

Rating: M

WarningsEmbarrassment; for the characters (well, one of them) and maybe a little bit the reader, but in a fun way

Summary: Naughty behavior in an Anderson house bathroom. Said naughty behavior gets… interrupted. 


“This may actually be the most inappropriate thing we’ve ever done,” Kurt breathed, kicking his foot out behind them to get the bathroom door closed so he could turn them and press Blaine against it. “And that’s saying something because we’ve gone to second base in a church parking lot.”

Blaine grinned, leaning his head back against the wood as Kurt undid his tie with an impatient growl. “You forgot about that time we had sex right around the corner from a barbecue at Puck’s house.”

Tie finally out of the way, Kurt started kissing down Blaine’s neck, humming as he bit a little too roughly at the damp skin just to hear Blaine moan.

Hands were just reaching for his slacks when there was a knock.

Kurt froze before burying his face in Blaine’s suit jacket to stifle a laugh as Blaine’s mother’s voice came through the door where Blaine’s head was resting once more as he stared up at the ceiling in despair.

“Blainey? Are you in there?”

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For iconicklaine's brilliant Vegas Wedding!Klaine prompts. I couldn't resist.

Kurt and Blaine are strangers, both in town as guests for separate weddings. The night before the weddings they meet in a bar, get tanked and then get hitched. Shenanigans, love at first sight, all the sexytimes.

Blaine would have noticed him anyway, he’s sure. A guy that gorgeous and poised and put together despite it being nearly 2am in the bar of a chaotic Vegas casino would catch Blaine’s eye regardless.

The fact that he’s wearing a tight black tank top with Bride’s Bitches written in sparkly gold letters, sipping a strawberry daiquiri as big as his head with what appears to be a penis-shaped straw, and swiveling his hips to the unceasing tempo of the techno music pulsing around them only draws Blaine’s gaze a little stronger.

Like, he cannot tear his eyes away. Then the guy notices Blaine noticing him, smirks and does this enticing little shoulder shimmy in Blaine’s direction and-

“Blainey!” Cooper drapes his heavy, sweaty body over Blaine’s shoulders and yells slurred and stupid and right into Blaine’s ear, “Stripper time, woo!”

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luminary-child prompted: idk if you’re taking prompts but here: klaine moves in to a new place and obviously christen it by having sex everywhere. bottom!blaine says (yells) Kurt’s name so much when they fuck that when their next door neighbour finally greets them they know Kurt’s name

It’s tiny. Their living room barely spans ten feet across, the walls are a flat off-white color that they’re not allowed to paint, and the kitchen is a miniscule outdated mess. But none of this matters because their names are on the lease and they’re standing, side-by-side, in the threshold of their first official place together.

Kurt turns his head. Blaine’s eyes are wide, bright, and when he meets Kurt’s he beams broadly and grips Kurt’s hand tightly in his. Their stuff is still unpacked, strewn in messy piles of boxes at all corners of their new apartment, and Kurt really isn’t looking forward to the daunting task of setting everything up and deciding on the perfect mix of both their styles. Living in the loft together had taught them how that could be.

But this is a new them. A new start. An apartment in the heart of New York City where the occupants won’t come and go as they please; where they can try this again, try them, at their own pace.

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FIC: Is it weird? 


Title: Is It Weird? (FF; S&C; AO3)

Genre: Humour, Romance, Fluff, Angst, AU, Epistolary

Satus: WIP, 1/6+epilogue

Rating: PG

Summary: Blaine sends his Topics in Contemporary Music mid-term essay to the wrong e-mail address, writing an extra m where it was supposed to read Humel. Kurt, spending a semester abroad in Paris, is having a challenging night of essay writing and procrastination, and goes a little bit beyond letting Blaine know he got the wrong person, sparking what will soon be described as a “weird pen-palish thing we got going on” that takes them both by surprise and leaves them hopeful and giddy.

Warning: Small mentions of Finn and his death.